I couldn’t think of a title for this post, but I do know that January was a month of HEADACHE for me!!! I was ready to throw the towel in the FIRST WEEK!!! 🤦🏾♀️ I don’t know how or why, BUT January came and CAME full throttle to take me off my rocker!!!
So many times we put others first and neglect ourselves in the process! There’s nothing wrong with putting others first, but when we do it at the cost of our own mental health then it’s a MAJOR PROBLEM!!!
The past few months I’ve been in a full on wrestling match with myself and with God!! I never thought I could measure up to other people’s standards and perceptions of my life!!!
Moving back home was pretty tough for me because I was doing so well, at peace and so proud of myself when I was away! Things took a sudden turn and twist for sure!!!
I became stuck again! I started to battle with depression again! Even considered going to get a mental health evaluation because the thoughts that were roaming in my head had surfaced again and it had been YEARS since I had to deal with those!!!
I was back in my space of not TRUSTING people again so I failed to reach out when I really needed too!
I started a fast this year only to quit part way through! I’ve never done that before! I always follow through!!!
Needless to say it was rather hard to bounce back like I had normally done! Everything seemed to crumble. God seemed so far away!
Everything caved in because instead of listening to the thoughts God had about me I allowed every word the enemy spoke about me suffice! Whether he used family, supposed friends or just mind boggling thoughts in my quiet time, I was battling seriously!!!
Here I am on FEBRUARY 26, 2020 into the NEW YEAR and I’m taking back everything the enemy tried to steal from me! Cliche, but it’s the truth!
I quit a job that was causing me stress like no other only to have a job that I had been desiring since I was a young girl working with children and families in the foster care system.
God is turning things around for me. I’m learning that I can’t get flustered when stress hits! I’m learning to really be honest about me and knowing I’m not going to be perfect! I’m extra hard on myself so living in the moment and enjoying it is truly going to be my goal for the remainder of the year!!! Anything that messes up my peace is not worth it at all!! I’ll dip out like it’s no tomorrow. LOL!🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️😂
PURSUE is my word for the year and I’m going after all God has for me and what HE said was MINE!!!
First thing is CHOOSING ME!!! Choosing ME over the thoughts and views of others! Choosing ME regardless of what the enemy puts in my mind! Choosing ME in the midst of heartache and turmoil! CHOOSING ME JUST THE WAY GOD HAS ORDAINED AND ANOINTED ME!!!