The stench of old residue…
I been sitting on this title since the beginning of the year!! Now as the year is over, this has birthed true on so many levels! I now have a better understanding of what God is trying to minister to me! Just know that if I’m writing it God checked me FIRST!!! Check Mate! ♟💪🏾😩
I try to hide but He ain’t having it!!! 😂😂 The way God speaks to me now (He could have been speaking like this to me for a while, but I’m good for shutting down when I don’t want to hear something). But, He truly speaks… Like “daughter you gone get this word and you gone like it…” 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ Anybody else have spats with God, then end up in a corner somewhere crying cause you should have just kept your mouth shut in the first place. No!!!?????!!! Just me! Lol!
But anywayyyyy… 😉
How many times have we begged and pleaded with God to change us and mold us?? Once, Twice… EVERY DAYYYY! Hollering…Singing…Crying… “You, Lord are the Potter and I’m the Clay!!! Mold me and make me over!!!” Singing every word to Tamela Mann’s CHANGE ME!!! Only to hold on to the handle bars of bondage and not breaking free to receive your transformation!
This year was an interesting year for soooooo many! We hardly knew whether we were coming or going! We had to adjust to the different changes in the world. We had to switch from our normal routine to find things that were more suitable for the current pandemic that we find ourselves still in!!
2020 started like any other year for me! I didn’t do too much of anything and I was in the house bored as usual! When boredom hits, I’ve been prone to do whatever I feel at the moment with no thought process! It’s how I have always operated! Good or bad, I moved based on my emotions!!
WORD OF CAUTION: DON’T MOVE OUT OF EMOTION OR FEELINGS WHEN THINGS DON’T GO YOUR WAY BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LIKE THE OUTCOME. YOU WILL DEAL WITH MORE HEARTACHE AND HEAD ON COLLISIONS THAN YOU COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!
Every year we have this expectation that we’re going to do things differently and not look back on the old things that blocked us from living closer to our desired end!!!
Have you ever sat and thought about the things that you thought about? Like have you rally sat and listened to your thoughts?!?!?! I had started reading a few books this year that spoke on this subject and they truly changed how I thought and more so helped me to truly pay attention to my thoughts.
Our thoughts play a huge role in what manifests in our lives and what we have the capacity to do. If we only linger and focus on the negative thoughts that play in our minds it will be hard for us to really manifest the positive things that are waiting to manifest within us and for us.
We have to learn to take those thoughts that are not ours or God’s and toss them back to the pit of hell that they came from. When we don’t they will surely linger and cause havoc on our lives, spirits, minds, relationships and everything else.
You ever leave old food or meat in the fridge?!?!?!? I mean not on purpose or because we’re nasty!!! (Giving some of us the benefit of doubt! LOL LOL) When you leave it in the smell lingers. YEP, IT LINGERS! If you don’t clean out the fridge from the meat, blood and juices that leaked in there then you will forever smell the odor of the rotten meat or spoiled food. No matter how many times you put baking soda in there or add fresh fruits, meats and veggies you will continue to smell the stench of that bad meat. Why?!?!? Because you never cleaned it out. You kept the residue of it still in the fridge.
Until you remove the meat and clean the fridge you will continue to deal with it. The same is true when it comes to old mindsets, old friends, old relationships. If you don’t get to the root of that hurt, that pain, or that negativity then you will continue to deal with the “curse” that is placed over you. If you don’t CLEAN (purge and surrender) those old thinking mindsets, relationships and behaviors you will continue to reap the negative outcomes.
This year I got my first heartbreak…Yep, I am 37 and for the first time I fell for a dude and although it didn’t last long, I felt a part of me was hurt because I allowed parts of myself to be open and vulnerable when that’s not something I ever do. I’ve had male friends and encounters, but the difference this time around there was no sex included in this last one, so it was different. The others sex was involved from the beginning. (Ya’ll know I keep it real with you all) Anyhoo, I am all done crying though. I cried and told two of my sisters and my spiritual mentor so I wouldn’t be able to harbor on it. I knew they would pray for me and keep me covered. Seems minor to you all, but when you don’t deal with those issues from the beginning it will try to strangle the life out of you.
As I was driving home a few days ago I notices that some of the characteristics of one of my entanglements had been displayed in this gentleman 🤦🏾♀️ I wasn’t able to see it at first because in my mind I was like there aren’t any sexual encounters with him so everything else should be okay. I was wrong. If you know my before salvation days, then you would know that any guy I dealt with before Christ has no purpose for me on this path. He’s not abad guy, in fact he was a very caring and pretty great guy. He just wasn’t the guy for me. Even through everything, I was able to see God’s Grace over me, God’s Love over me and His favor over me. I was able to still honor God in my interaction with him. God allowed me to break my walls down and to let my guard down.
My spiritual sister always told me that there will be many men that are attracted to me, but not every man will be able to handle the call and anointing on my life. They will flock, but when the going gets tough, God will show me who is for me. She has always told me that I can’t just do anything and be with just anybody. This year proved that and going into 2021, I know that God has greater for me on every level. I’ve stepped down so that God can take center stage.
I can honestly say that this encounter was more of an OUTBREAK of GOD’S GOODNESS over me. He allowed me to feel again with no hidden motives on my end. When God showed me them red flags I was able to exit stage left. It wasn’t easy., but I did it! After all was said and done I was still okay with ME!!! I didn’t doubt my WORTH. I admit, I really liked him and you would have never heard me say that EVERRRR!!!! I would have never expressed it to my family or anything. This time was different. Although, it didn’t end how I had wanted it to, it ended just how God needed it to do.
There were parts of a broken me that was still lingering. I was seeking something I had never had before and in the seeking, although God was in the center of my thoughts concerning him, there was still parts of me that had not been fully surrendered. That part that wasn’t surrendered caused me to navigate to the same prospects as before. When you are operating within the same mindset concerning things from your past, then you may not see clearly from a natural eye. You have to get rid of those old ways of thinking and those old ways of being and let God direct every thought and path of your life.
As we end 2020 and walk into 2021, allow God to dissect every part of your being. Allow Him to remove your old thinking, old ways and old lifestyles so that you no longer have to dwell in the emptiness of your old self. Allow Him to clean you out from the inside out so that you no longer have to walk around with the same odor from previous encounters.
Even the small doses of what you thought were gone can cause much havoc on your life. You may not see how it is or will affect you from the start, but until you are fully cleaned out and embark on a new path, those old ways will haunt you and cause you to make the decisions as before.
As the scripture says, “you can’t put new wine in old wineskins.” In order for you to walk into the New Year with a new fragrance and a new scent of victory, you’re going to have to get rid of the old ways of thinking and old behaviors. In order for you to do that you need a DEEP CLEAN from God, himself!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!