Hey Girl Heyyyy: Confessions of A Healing Me!!! Part Two…
Healing is never EASY! I had all intentions of writing about my personal journey of healing in stages, but God saw fit for me to take a different route for this post!
I know we see it all the time on social media with the memes that talks about breaking generational curses and how we’ve been built for the task! But are we really built for it? What makes me have more strength to handle what has been thrown my way, than another person in my family! Why does it stop and start with me? Why choose me to take all the punches! It hurts like hell! I’m coming from a sincere and vulnerable place right now!!
Just when you feel like you’ve crossed over the finish line, here comes another battle you have to face. Granted we don’t face it alone in the spiritual? But it sure as heck feel like we face it alone in the natural!! Nobody really knows or understands what another goes through! We can empathize with another person, but we don’t know how they feel on the inside! We don’t know the battles that another person faces when it’s just them laying in the mid of night trying to make sense of the life that they wished that they never had to endure!
Right NOW…I’m hurting because as much as I know God is strengthening me and healing me, I know there are so many who don’t have a clue of the FAITHFULNESS OF GOD and what HE can do for them! I’m hurting because we all know that everybody can’t go on the journey with us, and sometimes that even includes family! As much as I want to take some friends and family by the neck and drag them with me I can’t! They have to want it for themselves! If I stop to hold their hand and pull them along I miss the opportunity for myself to grow and be a greater example for the babies in my family who needs me to endure all things with Christ!!
From the beginning of this journey of being GRACEFULLY UNVEILED I have been 100% real and vulnerable! I’m not going to change now!! A few years ago I was stressed to the max! To the point of being sick and losing my mind! My grandmother was going through a lot and was in and out the hospital and we almost lost her. She was given a 98% chance of DYING…Yep you read that correctly! Doctors had already told family to say their goodbyes! I didn’t believe it and I refused to say goodbye!! I prayed and I prayed and my entire family grabbed hands and the doctors and nurses as well! 5 years later and my MAMA is still here! During that time my church mother told me I needed to give my grandmother over to God and allow God to have control!! That may have been the hardest thing I ever had to do! But since then I have had nothing but Faith and Trust in God to keep my grandmother.
Fast forward to NOW… I need to truly do the same thing with my BROTHER! I need to hand him over to God and not worry or stress about the outcomes of his life. If you know me on a personal level then you know my relationship with my brother is very shaky and rocky because of the lifestyle he chooses to live! I allow him to bring the worse out of me on so many occasions. Well not really allow him because it’s my choice to react to him or not. Most times I end up reacting to the point where I tend to cuss and have a horrible attitude! I love him and even though I don’t talk to him all the time, I stay checking on him through my mother. Even now I am able to allow him on my social media without blocking him! He tags me in everything ya’ll. LOL!!! Like boy I don’t even know what he talks about all the time.
But right now I am flooded with tears because as I mentioned before… you want everyone to get it. You want everyone to go on the journey with you, but it’s just not possible at all nor all the time. I can’t make my brother receive the help and healing that he needs, but I can pray for him and ask God to cover him!
Healing is PERSONAL! You have to put in work to truly live a life of peace! People see me and they have no idea of what goes on in the inside! So many people say I’m always smiling and laughing, but those quiet moments when it’s just me and God, I breaks downnnn!!! It hurts that I don’t have a relationship with my biological brothers and sisters! It’s something that truly bothers me on the regular!! I would say that my oldest brother is the only one that I didn’t grow up with, but I know if I ever need him he will come running. Our relationship is different so I can’t really include him in the sibling relationships gone bad!!! LOL!!! That’s my homie!
As I hand them over to God and receive Gods Peace and comfort, I can only continue to grow and heal the way that God sees fit!!
The thing about HEALING is that you’re not going to be able to do it alone! Take a person who has to undergo surgery, they have to have regular check ups with the surgeon and their family specialist to make sure they are healing properly. It’s the same thing with us, spiritually. We can start trying to heal on our own and we can try to miss out on frequent appointments with Christ but in the end we will only end up needing to undergo the same process again!
We need to trust the GREAT PHYSICIAN- JEHOVAH ROPHE with our lives! He says He HEALS the broken hearted, so why not hand over those things that are crippling us over to Christ so He can Heal us from the inside out!! He’s never going to force Himself on us, so right here, right now, cry out to HIM and let Him HEAL YOU!!!
Lord I bring to you every hurting soul that is reading this right now. I pray that you comfort them and HEAL them to the deep of their core! Help them see their need for you and that only with YOU, will they heal correctly! Lord Help us to be whole in YOU! Help us to look to YOU to fill every hurt, pain and void! Lord those who are are self medicating with drugs, alcohol, sex, people, work, and only knows what else, help them to thirst and quench on you to receive what it is that they need. I plead the blood of Jesus over every individual reading this and those who are connected to them. In Jesus Mighty Name! Amen!
When it comes to healing we NEED TO GIVE UP!!! Give EVERYTHING up to GOD!! We need to stop trying to fight these battles by ourselves. The longer we stay stuck in the past, focused on who hurt us, who we hurt, all we’ve done then we will continue to have a life of turmoil! We have to want better for ourselves! So many of us are stuck as a child! The child that’s screaming to be SET FREE!
When will we stop fighting God and turn our lives fully over to Him! I include myself because there is always more that I can do to draw closer to God! Time to turn our problems over to Him!
The drugs and alcohol that some use to mask the pain isn’t doing anything but slowly killing them. They’re dying daily and they don’t even see it! Time to give it all up for God!
I’m yet praying that God grabs hold of each of you and you begin to let it all out and release every hurt to HIM! Until you’re ready to hand it all over to Him you will continue to fight the demons on your own! Guess WHATTTT?!?!? YOU CAN’T DO IT ON YOUR OWN!